vote or comment on "U"r pastor - good or not?
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> *Why Go to Church?*
>
> One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was
> time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going."
> "Why not?" she asked.
> I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "(1), they don't like me, and (2),
> I don't like them."
> His mother replied, "I'll give you two good reasons why you SHOULD go to
> church:
> (1) You're 59 years old, and (2) you're the pastor!"
> ::O: pasters have feelings? :confused:
> *The Picnic** * A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's
> annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.
> "This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You
> really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't
> understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know
> what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's
> prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down
> and try it?"
> The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."
>
>
>
>
> *The Usher*
>
> An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher
> greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps.
> "Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.
> "The front row, please," she answered.
> "You really don't want to do that," the usher said. "The pastor is really
> boring." Popular vote on "U"r pastors, lt's either{{boring}} or [[ interesting ]]> "Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.
> "No," he said.
> "I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.
> "Do you know who I am?" he asked.
> "No," she said.
> "Good," he answered.
>
>
>
>
> *Show and Tell*
>
> A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment. Each
> student was instructed to bring in an object that represented their religion
> to share with the class.
> The first student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is
> Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is a Star of David."
> The second student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Mary.
> I'm a Catholic and this is a Rosary."
> The third student got in up front of the class and said, "My name is Tommy.
> I am Methodist, and this is a casserole."
>(( not a joke about Baptist - can "U" believe it ::O: ::D:
>
>
>
>
> *The Best Way To Pray*
>
> A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for
> prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby
> "Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said.
> "No," said the minister. "I get the best results standing with my hands
> outstretched to Heaven."
> "You're both wrong," the guru said. "The most effective prayer position is
> lying down on the floor."
> The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas," he
> interrupted. "The best prayin' I ever did was when I was hangin' upside down
> from a telephone pole."
>
>
>
>
> *The Twenty and the One*
>
> A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill
> arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired.
> As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a
> conversation.
> The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country.
> "I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed. "Why I've been to Las
> Vegas and Atlantic City , the finest restaurants in New York , performances
> on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean ."
> "Wow!" said the one-dollar bill. "You've really had an exciting life!"
> "So, tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your
> lifetime?"
> The one dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church , the
> Baptist Church , the Lutheran Church ."
> The twenty-dollar bill interrupts, "What's a church?"
>
>
> *Goat for Dinner** *The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday
> dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister
> asked their son what they were having.
> "Goat," the little boy replied.
> "Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"
> "Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good
> as any to have the old goat for dinner.' "
>
>
>
> *Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder - and Your hand over my mouth.*
In the spirit of the season:
(http://media.fukung.net/images/6925/2158.jpg)
EXPLAIN ! "U"r self, "R" "U" saying "There is NO! Santa Claus or that "U" don't believe in Jesus?
Well, if it wasn't anti-Christ like; 'i'd put a HEX on "U"!
(http://media.fukung.net/images/6925/2158.jpg)
(http://duck,%20palehorse!)
A bolt of lightning is coming 'U'r way.